One of the biggest stories of the day is a statement from an Iranian cleric that he blaming the country’s earthquakes on women dressing promiscuously.  Here’s the most relevant quote:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

I have the utmost respect for religious figures, but I must say that this is downright ignorant.  The real problem is that men have been faking fidelity for an extremely long time.

Because men never learned how to control themselves society

• Told women that they couldn’t enter the workforce
• Told women that they had to cover themselves up
• Made laws that prevented women from voting

Now society is starting to see the fruits of what happens when you don’t properly prepare yourself for marriage.  We have more options than ever to meet women and, moreover, to have an affair.

• A more educated society, providing you with access to more potential partners
• A more technologically advanced society with cell phones, e-mail, and  social networks

This explains why 20% of divorces cite Facebook as the cause of divorce.  People weren’t getting over their exes, they just lost contact with them.  Now that people have anonymous one-to-one communication with the world, we don’t know what to do with it.

Rather than blame women when men stand out, why not make a call for stronger men?  Infidelity is not an inevitably.  Being faithful now is harder than ever.  But that’s why we have to fight now more than ever.  Men have always been weak; our weaknesses were just hidden.  Now that they have been exposed, we need to focus on building mental strength instead of worrying about exposed women.

Source:  AP

Watch the video below for a documentary on sex addiction by Winston Bennett, a former NBA player.  He talks about how he’s had sex with 90 different women in a month, how he cheated the day after his marriage, etc.

Where there’s smoke there’s fire.  That’s why I don’t understand the sex addict argument.  You don’t become a sex addict after you get married.  There’s a certain negligence that has to come with that.  Tiger’s wife is still a victim, but how do you not know that you’re husband is a sex addict (if such thing exists)?

According to Bennett, it’s natural for men to want to have sex and they will find a way whether it means having sex during the day or watching porn.  Given his concession, I don’t really see how we can classify his condition as an addition. Counselling didn’t appear to help his cause.

So what seems to be the solution?  Finding God and having people to hold him liable. That’s exactly why liability is the first part of L.O.V.E. You’ve got to hold yourself accountable and have people to hold you accountable. You can’t cheat unless you put yourself in a position to.

Source: Bossip

Sandra Bullock, renowned actress that recently won her first Academy Award, has left her Southern California home after news that her husband, Jesse James, had an 11-month affair with Michelle (Bombshell) McGee, a tattoo model and stripper

McGee grew up Amish, but obviously deviated from that lifestyle.

James was married twice before marrying Bullock, including a brief marriage to a porn star.  Did you know this Sandra?  After all, they did get married a year after meeting each other.

Anywho, the douchebag told McGee that he and Bullock were not together.  McGee says that she’s not homewrecker and would never had slept with him if she knew he was married.

I’m glad Bullock packed her stuff and headed out.  How will people hold themselves accountable unless the threat of loss becomes real?

Source: NY Daily News

Take That

Meet Mark Anthony Patrick Owen, an English songwriter-singer of the pop group Take That.  Owen and his wife Emma got married last October, but has two kids together age 3 and 1.  It seems as though Owen had his fair share of women since he started dating Emma.

Owen has confessed to 10 1-night stands and a five year affair since they’ve been together.  Unlike other professional cheaters, like Tiger Woods, that have tried to blame their shortcomings on their status, Owen has admitted his fault (he said he was drunk and looking for it).

I don’t know how much of this cheating carried on into their marriage, but this is I advocate fidelity from day one in the relationship.  Dating is about preparing yourself for marriage.  If you do anything long enough, you’ll be a master at it, including monogamy.

The article asks whether Emma should stay with him.  You already know my answer to that question.  Moreover, if someone can be completely faithful after they get caught, why couldn’t they do it before?

Source: Mirror (UK)

Ah, yet another article asking whether cheating has become normalized. The answer short and sweet is that it’s not normalized nor will it ever. This explains why Trashy Madison had 5.2 million members but less than 500 followers on Twitter.

Open relationships, like polyamory, have become more acceptable, but it’s not cheating because both parties agree to those terms. I HATE the polyamory movement but rather people both be on the same page than for one person to do dirt behind the other’s back. Cheating, by it’s very nature is a private/shameful endeavor. To prove the difference, think about how much money Trashy Madison would make if we became a polyamorous nation.

Source: http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/22759573/detail.html

Real

When he’s not fighting NBA players, Doug Christie fights for monogamy.  He and his wife Jackie have been married for 15 years.  They are releasing a new book called Luv-Pons in time for Valentine’s Day.  This is not their first book either.  I really support what they are doing, especially because they are an influential power couple.  According to the article:

About The Christies: Doug, is a 14-year NBA star, author/ producer, and Jackie, is a fashion designer/model, and CEO of five companies. As a team, they operate JackieChristie.com, the parent company to their film production company Infinite Love Productions, which co-produced “Committed: The Christies,” and their Hit Reality TV Show that aired nationwide on BET J. The power couple also operate their successful record label Jean Rah Fya Records.

Keep up with the Christies: Doug’s Website or Jackie’s Website

Source: PR Newswire

This story is really amazing.  Herbert (104) and Zelmyra (102) Fisher have celebrated 85 years of marriage and are not in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest marriage.  They will be providing relationship advice via Twitter. You can submit questions by Feb. 12 at @longestmarried.  I already submitted mine and hope that I get picked.  I haven’t seen too much media coverage about this, but I really hope it picks up because people need to hear this story.  We have a 50% divorce rate in this country.  The Fisher’s serve as a true testament to the powers of love.  And that’s beautiful.

Read the full story.

I’ve spelled it out numerous times before…Technology puts your relationship to the test.  Many men don’t have the prevent themselves from clicking on a pornography website or sending a flirtatious Facebook message.  There was no such thing as [private, anonymous messages before the Internet.  We just had snail mail.

Also, we are more connected than ever.  Many men can’t handle the responsibility of knowing having the world of women (including exes) LITERALLY at their fingertips.

There’s honestly two solutions to problem:  1) Get self discipline or 2) Force self-disciple.  Getting self-discipline means to internalize the L tenet of Manogamy: Liability.  You’ve got to hold yourself liable for your online actions.  Or you can force self-discipline.  This is the O tenet of Manogamy: Openness.  If you can’t stop yourself from sending flirtatious messages, you need to give your significant other your Facebook password (like the woman at the end of the video).

Source: THV

…but they know how to act when it is time to act. Coach Fabio Capello has replaced John Terry as the head of England’s soccer team. Apparently Europeans believe that people with moral shortcomings should not lead, even if their behavior is not directly tied to their underlying profession. I wish we that we had the guts to do the same in America (i.e. Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford, Kobe Bryant, Shaq, Jesse Jackson…)

When will WE learn that CHEATERS won’t learn until they are held accountable for their actions?  We have to REEXPECT (shameless plug, I know) that people that do wrong will be punished in some way.

Source: NYTimes

Today I realized that my website was taking too much of a reactive stance on the issue of monogamy.  I was going after sites like Trashy Madison and not showing the positive side of monogamy.  So I vow that from now on I will do a better job of presenting my side.

I cannot think of a better way to start off than to talk about a TRUE American Hero – Mr. Clint Eastwood.  I am glad that Mr. Eastwood has stood up for monogamy because 1) he is a celebrity 2) he is the quintessence of the tough guy and 3) he has cheated before.  #3 is very important because it proves that its never too late to turn your life around.  I don’t believe that you can say that you’ve truly found “the one” until you openly practice monogamy.

Here’s what Mr. Eastwood had so say on the subject:

Clint, 79, is no longer interested in looking at other women and finally feels he has found the right one. Dina is 35 years younger than Clint and gave birth to daughter Morgan Eastwood months after they tied the knot.

The father-of-seven admits he has made mistakes in the past by being unfaithful in previous relationships, but he is confident he won’t stray again.

“I am living in my state of monogamy quite happily. Dina is everything I ever wanted and never found anywhere else. It took me until I was 65 to find her,” he said in an interview with Seven magazine. “Like they said at school, I’m a little slow – it takes me longer to do things. But, because I have had children at an older age, I’ve had time to learn patience that I didn’t have earlier in my life when I was more ambitious.”

If it’s good enough for Clint, it should be good enough for any man.

Source: Music Rooms