I hear women complain about the double standard regarding sexuality: women are willing to look past guys’ sexual history, but men are not so forgiving. While things have gotten significantly better for women, there are a couple reasons why we’ll never treat them the same.

1. You can’t regulate it. Discrimination in this country has largely been scaled back through laws and statutes. You can make it illegal for not promoting a woman, but you can’t make it illegal to not date a woman because she’s had too many sexual partners.

2. There is some issue of fault. With the exception of rape, every woman chooses to lay down with a man. Race and sex, however, are immutable characteristics that you are born with.

3. Some woman will look past a man’s sexual history. Men do what they do because we know that some woman will take is flaws in all. The only way for things to change would be if all women agreed they would not date men with a large number of partners.

4. Sexual promiscuity is hard to define. Some guys have a problem with a woman that has slept with more than one guy. Others five. Others don’t care at all if you look good enough.

While the double standard is not fair, I don’t ever see us getting to the point where view man-whores the same as the Karen Owen with the Duke f#ck list.

[Note: This is just something that I have observed, so don't get upset]

1. He states he’s in a relationship. This is a gimme. Preferably he would link his profile, but at a minimum, he should say he is in a relationship.

2. He has a photo that doesn’t serve to gain attention. There’s no reason why a committed man is going to have a photo with his shirt off or standing next to a Ferrari.

3. He has photos with his significant other. More specifically, he has silly photos or ones that aren’t his significant at her best. It’s easy to show your significant other off when she has a smoking hot dress on, but what about when she has sweatpants on?

4. He doesn’t spend much time on Facebook. There’s really nothing to do on Facebook but check messages/wall posts and look at attractive women. The longer he spends on the site, the higher the probability that he’s eye humping someone.

5. He doesn’t have random (sig other doesn’t know about them) women commenting on his wall. Women can be bold, but I don’t know too many that will strike up a conversation with an old flame when he makes it clear that he is in a relationship (#1). It’s happened to me before and I just press delete.

6. He flirts with his significant other on Facebook.

7. He feels comfortable with his significant other around his profile. If you have to log out every time you leave the computer, you probably have something to hide. I know you can’t see this, but it’s still worth mentioning.

By now you’ve probably seen the story in Gawker alleging that Delaware Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell had a drunken, naked Halloween romp three years ago. The story—less than a week before the general election—was downright dirty. But it was not sexist.

The reason why this is a story is because O’Donnell is a huge proponent of sexual purity. These photos would be equally damning if she was a man speaking out against sex.

Similarly, the photos of Krystal Ball fellating a red dildo on her then-husband has nothing to do with sex. If her ex husband were running for the House, these photos would have come out. Let’s not forget that Scott Brown’s Cosmo shoot from when he was in law school was a big campaign issue. Ball can try to distance herself from the photos as much as she wants, but the truth is she, like Brown, was trust into the national spotlight because of it. And exposure = campaign contributions.

The truth is politics is a dirty game for both men and women. If you have anything that can be conceived as a skeleton, someone will bring it out.

Many people say we will have to accommodate changes on sexuality. I don’t think there is anything wrong with women expressing their sexuality, but that doesn’t mean you have to document it. There are just some things that should not end up on the Internet a la the Duke F*ck List. If you want to put your mouth around a dildo, don’t do it when there are cameras around.

There are real issues of sexism in politics such as Hillary Clinton being viewed as abrasive when this would be desirable for a male candidate. Also there were numerous (bogus) allegations that Nikki Haley committed adultery while she ran for governor of South Carolina. People don’t make up fake claims about male politicians committing affairs.

So the next time you think a woman is a target of sexism, stop and think whether a guy in the same category would have been treated the same way. Given the dirty nature of politics, if you did or said something, it will come back to haunt you male or female.

There’s no such thing as the perfect woman, right? Based on what you see in magazines, one is led to believe that there is an objective standard of perfection.

I’ve have serious problems with women undergoing Botox and “tummy tuck” procedures. I also concerned about magazines that take it into their own hands to digitally alter their subject. I cannot decide which I detest more because it’s like the chicken and the egg dilemma. Either way, it needs to stop.

1. It’s causing people to try to achieve a standard that doesn’t exist. That’s the beauty of beauty: everyone has an attribute that makes them unique. So what if you a weird nose? People want to look like (or have their significant other look like) Kim Kardashian, but even Kim K doesn’t look like Kim K. Just take a look at the infamous Complex shoot where they accidentally posted the original proofs. Yes Kim K has cellulite, big thighs, a little pooch, and a waist that is larger than we thought. That comes from having a large butt. I honestly wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with the original and most people — male or female — would be happy to look like unedited Kim.

2. It makes us less tolerant of imperfections. Let’s say you didn’t know Kim K had cellulite, you’d probably be turned off by the sight of that girl you got naked for the first time. Magazines like King routinely feature fair-skinned women with large butts on the cover, but these women are more likely to have cellulite because of skin type.

Magazines drive men to look for unedited women that are perfect. That’s not going to happen. But until a guy realizes this, he’s going to keep looking for something he will never find.

Similarly women feel the need to undergo excessive surgeries in the quest for perfection. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with working out and wearing makeup, but I think that should be the extent of a woman’s beauty efforts. Tummy tucks, breast implants, and butt injections only transfer you to someone you’re not. No man wants to date a woman that is insecure. That explains why someone like our friend Deborahlee Lorenzana still couldn’t find a man.

3. Different people have different tastes. Models like Kim K cover magazines for what they look like unedited. Why speculate and say, I’d bet she’d look even better with bigger breasts or a larger butt? Men have their own preferences. Just put the woman on the cover. If she’s attractive enough to be on it in the first place, I think you’ll be okay if her arms are one millimeter too big.

The moral of the story is you don’t have to be “perfect” to be a perfect 10. Most women gain weight after having kids. Skin is supposed to wrinkle. But it’s okay because that’s the beauty of life.

Yup you read correctly. For the first time since the Census Bureau has collected marriage data, there have been more people between 25-34 that have never been married than married in that age range. I can’t say I’m shocked, but I am certainly concerned. The national average is 46.3% unmarried 44.9% married, but the numbers are more staggering in metropolises.

In San Francisco, 82% of adults between 25 and 34 had never been married in 2009, the largest share among big U.S. cities. Atlanta, New York and Minneapolis were all among the top 20 U.S. cities with the largest share of never-married young adults, with shares greater than 75%.

The article lists several reasons for this trend including the recession and people putting off marriage to get established in their profession. While more people will get married when the economy turns around, I wouldn’t expect a drastic shift.

We have stripped marriage of any meaning. In the “old days” people got married so they could have sex (with or without a condom). That’s not the case anymore. You also don’t have to be married to live together. Therein lies the question: What does it mean to be married today?

Additionally, and more important I believe, we have too many potential partners. And that will be the topic my next post.

Source: WSJ

CNN has really been making a big push for the new Eliot Spitzer show. My question is why should the former governor of New York get a show after getting caught up in a call girl scandal.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that people make mistakes. I don’t think that you should give everyone a second though.

And that’s exactly what CNN is doing with Spitzer. He made $179,000 as governor. CNN is likely paying him more than that. Spitzer is a Harvard Law graduate. What are his qualifications to host a show? I have plenty of friends with journalism degrees dying to get a break.

So what lesson can be drawn from all this? Embarrass your family and your state with an embarrassing scandal and you get a show? It’s kinda like all these women thy write books about all the men they sleep with. What message does that send to our daughters?

I call it the Kanye West principle. We all know Kanye is crazy. We knew this before the Taylor Swift incident (remember the Bush comment?). But guess what? ONE YEAR after embarrassing Swift, he headlines the EXACT SAME show. On top of that, he performs a song with the lyrics, “Let’s have a toast for the dochebags/ Let’s have a toast for the assholes”. And I’m sure his new album will go platinum.

Kanye knows this already. And I’m pretty sure Spitzer figured out he’d be set too. I’m not the type of person that sits with my arms folded when I don’t like something. I won’t purchase West’s new album or go to his concerts. And I won’t support Spitzer’s show either. The only way to make people think before they act is to show them that they actually have something to lose.

I hear bloggers and dating coaches provide guys with advice on how to date a smoking hot woman all the time. I never, however, hear anyone mention the downsides of dating a hot woman. And trust me, there are plenty. In fact, I know guys that wouldn’t date a hot woman due to the downsides. Maybe you wouldn’t either. Listen up.

1. There’ll always be guys staring at/hitting on her.

Doesn’t matter. Grocery store, gym, work, mall. As long as she is hot, guys will flock. Remember the way you looked at her when you first saw her? Well that’s how nearly every other guy sees her too. Some guys just stare. Others will make cat calls. Others will approach her, including extremely wealthy men.

2. There’s nothing you can do about it

Guys will still stare and even make cat calls when you are with her. Occasionally a guy will be bold enough to approach her with you there. You may get a little upset that allege guys in the mall are looking at her, but what are you going to do? Fight every guy in the mall? Eventually you just learn to deal with it.

3. You’ve got to deal with her guy friends that like her

Nearly every guy has liked a woman, but was cast into the hellhole we call the “friend zone.” Well guess what, you’ve successfully evaded the friend zone, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other guys there. Every hot woman has a guy friend, usually very close, that wishes he was you. It is utterly useless to tell a woman that she should stop being friends with a guy that she’s known forever now that she’s taken.

4. Exes won’t go away

The point of the Ladder Theory, which I strongly support, is to move up in your relationships. You can’t go from dating a 10 to an 8.5. You’ll be miserable. The ONLY way for a man to be happy is to date up or at least remain at the same level. Otherwise you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to vindicate yourself. Your significant other has exes, sometimes going back to high school, that will periodically send her text messages even though she never responds (people tend to keep their cell numbers)

5. Technology makes it easier to harass

This new personalize communication (cell phones, social networks, email) has only opened the lines of communication for people trying to get (back) in the game. In the past, you could only communicate with a woman by writing her a letter or calling her landline. Guys wouldn’t be bold enough to flirt when her husband could just pick up at anytime.

Now guys think it’s cute to poke or send private messages on Facebook. There are 500 million people on Facebook. It doesn’t take much for someone to stumble across your significant other’s profile and try to start up a convo. It’s gets really annoying when you see your girlfriend has over 100 friend requests from people she doesn’t know.

There’s a difference between #1 & #5. The former only applies to people that ACTUALLY see her whereas the latter can apply whether someone has seen her or not. Also guys are less likely to approach in person out of fear of rejection. Even if they do, they won’t get the digits. On social networks, however, you can make direct contact without speaking face to face.

Now that you have both sides, you may want to reconsider if this is what you really want.

Pics of guys staring