As a Black male, I am embarrassed by the fact that as a whole, we are the most disrespectful “race” (you know I hate that word) of men in the United States. You may see scantily clad women in country and rock videos, but only Black men can bring you the likes of “Trip Drill” and “Back Dat Azz Up.”

Rap music should be perceived as entertainment (the stance taken by Jay-Z and me). However, for many Black men, rap is perceived as a lifestyle: the way you should dress and act. Everyone goes through a stage when they wear things they presumably wouldn’t wear as an adult. As a teenager, I had cornrows, baggy Platinum Fubu jeans, and purchased Air Jordans like they were milk.

But I never internalized the rap mentality. You know, the notion that women are b*tches and can be treated in any way. My parents raised me better than that. And although there are a LARGE number of Black men that are raised solely by their mother, I’d like to think that their mother taught them how to treat a lady.

But that’s a perfect world. The reality is, when an attractive woman walks down the street, the reaction she receives from men often depends on race. From my personal observation and reports from my fiancé, White men look in silence and Black men look and open their mouths (“cat calling”). Not only does she tell me that Black men whistle, but they often say things that cannot repeated on this blog.

Things don’t seem to change when I’m with her either. I’ll catch White men staring, but Black men will still say things like “God damn.”

I cannot tell whether they intend for me to hear it or not, but it doesn’t matter because you should exercise discretion if you are checking out someone’s woman. Even if she didn’t have a ring, there is a heterosexual presumption in this country, so if a man and a woman are walking down the street, one should assume they are together.

But the fact that we are together does not seem to matter to many Black men. Thanks to rappers and R&B artists like Trey Songz, The Dream, and R. Kelly, Black men seem to think that they can steal someone’s woman away from them, whether they are present or not.

This, as referenced by the title of this article, is a fiction. I do not know of one man that has ever taken someone’s woman while the guy was there. And in my experience, guys are not bold enough to even try. I’ve had one guy try to approach my then-girlfriend and, although he was bigger than me, I quickly set him straight.

The real issue is Black men don’t respect other Black men (because they don’t respect themselves). If I had a dollar for every time a Black man said some variant of “What’s your man got to do with me?”, my wedding would probably be paid off.

Why can’t Black men politely approach an attractive woman and, when they acknowledge they are taken, politely walk away. Every other “race” of men seems to grasp this simple concept.

Black men: there are plenty of fish in the sea. Act like it. Besides, you should question the veracity of anyone that ends up with a wife like Tiny.

If you watched the Super Bowl Sunday, you likely came across the Pepsi MAX “Love Hurts” commercial. It’s amazing how many stereotypes you can fit into 30 seconds.  The commercial is supposed to be about a woman that puts her man in line when he does what he isn’t supposed to be doing, namely not eating healthy foods and looking at other women.  That’s the intent.

The result is a stereotype about as played out as they come. Angry Black woman that’s not particularly easy on the eyes. Black man that has an eye for White women (or a woman that’s not his wife).  Slender, blonde-haired White woman that’s exercising.

Did the angry woman have to be Black?  If so, couldn’t they have found someone attractive for the role? Did the “other woman” have to be White? Couldn’t she have been just another attractive Black woman?

Many people say, “It’s just a commercial,” but it’s really more than that.  It’s a (not so) subtle characterization of Black women as angry and unattractive and White women as the attractive, helpless type.

I promise you, the commercial would have been just as funny if the women were both attractive. It’s not like guys with attractive wives still don’t have wandering eyes.

Note that I used the term stereotypical and not racist. Racist, sexist, ageist, etc. require some type of animus. To say that the commercial is racist is to say that the people at Pepsi don’t like Black people. I don’t see how you can gather that from the commercial. All I’m saying is the people that put it together could have been more racially sensitive.

*I’ve watched the video numerous times and it appears that Black couple lives together, but are unmarried (no ring on the woman). Again, another stereotype.

Quick Bar Study Break – Ashley Trashy Madison has sued the owners of AshleyMadisonSucks.com and AshleyMadisonScam.com for $75,000 each on the grounds that they have infringed their trademark.  Trashy Madison claims that the sites are “confusingly similar.”

Now, I’m no trademark law scholar, but I have taken trademark and I know that “gripe sites” generally are okay, especially when they have a noncommercial purpose.  But don’t take it from me, just see what the Las Vegas Trademark Attorney has to say about it:

I don’t know how Canadian courts handle this kind of case up north, but down here, we would call this a pretty strong example of a) non-commercial, fair use of a party’s trademark and b) using allegations of trademark infringement in a lawsuit to quash the lawful exercise of free speech.

Of course, is it really no surprise that a company whose entire business model is established around encouraging extra-marital affairs would resort to a such a questionable course of action in order to obtain possession of some gripe website domain names (and removing some criticism of its services at the same time).

Hmm…I know from first-hand experience that Trashy Madison doesn’t like it when people speak out against them…

Sources: Las Vegas Trademark Attorney and Courthouse News Service

If you remember the transitive property from your math class know that if A=B and B=C, then A=C.

That’s kinda what we’ve got here. We know that MyMarriageMatters.org equals MyMarriageMatters@gmail.com and AshleyMadison equals MyMarriageMatters@gmail.com. Therefore, we can safely conclude that MyMarriageMatters.org = AshleyMadison.

Oh yeah, here’s a copy of the letter from Ryan Hill threatening to sue me. Ironically, his repetitive denials of affiliation with the e-mail account is what caught him in a lie. Thanks Ryan.

So if Ryan didn’t email me (even though the same address was listed on his site), then who did? How about we take a look at what I like to call the Don’t Mess With Jarrod Post. There’s absolutely no reason why Trashy Madison would post a comment conforming prior email correspondence on my blog as Ryan Hill unless they were somehow involved with him.

What does Trashy Madison stand to gain by running a fake anti-Ashley Madison campaign? A lot actually. It’s called expanded advertising. MMM managed to get ad time during the NBA Playoffs. Trashy Madison probably wouldn’t be so fortunate. And if you look at the commercial, you’ll see a little too much Trashy Madison for an anti site.

Let’s not forget that people (divorce attorneys) don’t spend thousands (probably hundreds of thousands) of dollars for you to go to their site and sign a petition. When you go national with your causes, it means that you have a way that people can get actively involved and your organization has been around for more than about two months.

I’ve surfed the web and there’s so many people that called BS upon seeing the MMM commercial. It really didn’t even seem right. I’ve had the privilege of covering this story first hand and there’s other inconsistencies that I will keep to myself since it will be my word v. Ryan.

I honestly believed Ryan when he told me that he didn’t send those emails. However, after it was brought to my attention that Ryan used the same email address on his Facebook badge, I knew he was lying. I knew that he told me he wasn’t connected with the address on the phone, but I had no hard evidence. Then I stumbled back across Ryan’s letter…

I don’t want to hear any crazy theories (well what if a third party hacked into the accounts of both MMM and Trashy Madison?) because I think it’s a relatively simple issue here.

Oh yeah and if you’re still not convinced: tell me who would self fund a national anti-Ashley Madison campaign when your law firm’s site looks like this. By the way according to the letter and his voicemail, he’s the Law Offices of Ryan Hill or Ryan E. Hill, P.L.L.C.

But wait there’s more. Ryan said that he operates a “mid-sized” law firm, but there’s only three people shown on the front page. In fact, there’s not even one attorney named on the site. No attorney profiles or anything. If you search for “Can-Am Legal Services” he seems to be the only one associated with the firm. And if he’s a divorce attorney, then tell me what you see when you click on the areas of practice page.

Let’s not forget that the MyMarriageMatters.org is registered under Domains by Proxy, Inc., a company that specializes in concealing the identity of website registrants.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

And if you’re still not convinced, here’s a cached version of his site with the e-mail address mymarriagematters@gmail.com listed on the Contact Us page. “Someone” later replaced this address with ryan@mymarriagematters.org.

Stop the Psychobabble

Dr. Phil says that you are genetically predisposed to cheat if your ring finger is longer than your index finger.  He says that it is a sign of  higher levels of the Oxytocin hormone and testosterone.  Dr. Paul Zak makes a similar argument based on Oxytocin.

The problem with supersmart psychologists are that they overanalyze simple problems (just like the South Park episode on sex addition).   Men cheating has absolutely nothing to do with science.  It’s relatively simple actually.

1. Every man wants to marry a model or someone that looks like one.  Most men will fail at this mission.  Thus, they live their entire lives trying to vindicate themselves.  If the chance comes up after they are married, they will likely jump at the opportunity to do so.  In their minds, it is better to have a model-like woman after marriage than never at all.

2. Men that are fortunate enough to marry a model or model-like woman are either a) rich or b) have influence/status.  This means that they likely can have other-model like women if they want.  And if you are surrounded by models, then you’re wife just looks average.  How boring, right?

So am I saying that no man can be faithful? Obviously not (I did create this site after all).  What I am saying is that for a man to be faithful, he has to view his significant other as THE best option that he has AND will forever have.  I truly believe that the “average Joe” would be faithful to his dream woman (i.e. Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Freida Pinton, Megan Fox, Rosa Acosta, etc.) if he had a chance to date her.

It doesn’t hurt if he has self control, which Dr. Phil (contradictorily) admits himself.

All of this isn’t to say that cheaters should get a free pass just because they were born that way. “You still have the ability to choose not to do these things

But self control won’t come until you find that right person.  Anyone can be faithful.  Even a long-ring finger-having guy like myself (see pic above).

Source: NY Post

One of the biggest stories of the day is a statement from an Iranian cleric that he blaming the country’s earthquakes on women dressing promiscuously.  Here’s the most relevant quote:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

I have the utmost respect for religious figures, but I must say that this is downright ignorant.  The real problem is that men have been faking fidelity for an extremely long time.

Because men never learned how to control themselves society

• Told women that they couldn’t enter the workforce
• Told women that they had to cover themselves up
• Made laws that prevented women from voting

Now society is starting to see the fruits of what happens when you don’t properly prepare yourself for marriage.  We have more options than ever to meet women and, moreover, to have an affair.

• A more educated society, providing you with access to more potential partners
• A more technologically advanced society with cell phones, e-mail, and  social networks

This explains why 20% of divorces cite Facebook as the cause of divorce.  People weren’t getting over their exes, they just lost contact with them.  Now that people have anonymous one-to-one communication with the world, we don’t know what to do with it.

Rather than blame women when men stand out, why not make a call for stronger men?  Infidelity is not an inevitably.  Being faithful now is harder than ever.  But that’s why we have to fight now more than ever.  Men have always been weak; our weaknesses were just hidden.  Now that they have been exposed, we need to focus on building mental strength instead of worrying about exposed women.

Source:  AP

Here’s a video of Steven A. Smith in which he badmouths monogamy and talks about how most men don’t want to be monogamous.  Well I guess I’m not most men then.  Like my father always says, when you are truly in love, you literally don’t even see other women.  Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman Bro. Smith…

Priceless Photo

Unfortunately, I believe this one.  I am REALLY getting tired of this story, but there’s some new twist every day.  I can think of a lot of things I’d do with $10 million dollars.

Source: NY Daily News

NPR ran an article on sex addition today and you know I have to chime in on it.  Basically super smart psychologists are thinking that it’s time that sex addition become a recognized disorder nonsense.

Simply put, sex addiction is not a disorder; it is about self control and nothing else.  Did Tiger Woods have a sex addiction before he went pro?  Moreover, a disorder is something that is considered unnatural.  Foot fetishes aren’t natural.  Grown men lusting after children is not natural.  Wanting to have sex all the time–>Perfectly normal.  We are all born with sexual desires; we are highly intelligent animals after all.

I’ve never heard anyone say that Wilt Chamberlain had a sex addiction.  He was a professional athlete that liked to have sex… a lot of it.  He had sex with thousands of women (literally) because that’s what he wanted to live the bachelor life.  And if he did get married, I”m sure he would have had a hard time giving up sex with other women. Survey says: Excuse.

Source: NPR News

My girlfriend and I often disagree on things.  There’s one thing, however, that we agree on: technology can make cheating easier.  And we’re not the only ones to believe this.  However, the Toronto Star claims that it’s almost impossible to maintain a secret affair in the digital age.  Are they serious? Trashy Madison’s whole business scheme is surrounded around their Ashley Madison Affair Guarantee.  If the website was not discrete, then why do they have so many people using it.

It’s true that people get caught all of the time on Facebook, but that’s because they don’t know what they are just plain stupid.  Obviously anyone can write on your wall unless you disable that setting.  Guys aren’t going to disable this setting either because it looks suspicious.

BUT if you are serious about cheating, technology provides numerous new avenues in which to cheat.  In addition to marital dating sites, changes in telecommunications can foster relationships.  I wrote an article about it a few weeks ago.  Basically, I discussed how VoIP providers, such as Google Voice, can enable you to have a second phone line without a trace of text messages or calling records.  If you receive a call, you set your number as the incoming call so your significant other would not know who is calling.

The article then suggests that it’s probably more discrete to use a payphone…as if those exist anymore.  SMH.