As I watched the Heat/Cavs game and the deep-seated hatred Cleveland has for Lebron James, I couldn’t help but think of a bitter ex.

The signs are all the same. Love. Then a breakup that you didn’t want. Then the other person moves on to someone better looking. Then the sophomoric antics by the jilted party (i.e. writing how much they hate you in a blog or on their Facebook blog.

Cleveland would have felt good about themselves if they would have won tonight. But they lost…badly. Now the fans really look crazy because they have nothing to show for it.

In a perfect world, Cleveland and bitter exes would always receive the vindication they seek. But that’s a perfect world. In real life, men leave their wives for younger, more attractive women and live happily ever after.

Finding happiness in someone else’s pain is only a temporary solution, however. If a jilted lover or Cavs fan truly wars to move on, they must first love themselves (or their team).

It was obvious that many people in that crowd were not Cavs fan, but rather Lebron fans. Lebron is not the team though. A true Cavs fan would love the team with or without him. And they’ll have the f*** it attitude and know that they will be fine without him.

Once you learn to love yourself or your team, you can then learn to love someone new. You may not even find someone better than your past love, but you won’t know until you try to let someone else into your heart.

And that’s all you can do.

Source: CBS Sports

ESPN recently ran an article discussing infidelity amongst professional athletes, especially from the perspective of their wives.

The article didn’t provide too much insight, but I found the following passage particularly interesting;

[Randy] Kessler, based in Atlanta, says the culture of adultery is so pervasive that he stresses to his clients that they become educated, proactive and realistic. He recently suggested to one of his NBA clients that he include a clause in his prenuptial agreement that states if his wife files for divorce because he cheated, he won’t be penalized financially.

He told the NBA player it was likely he’d cheat on his wife and it was likely he’d be caught.

“I thought he was going to hit me,” Kessler says. “I thought he was going to be mad. You know what? He said, ‘I want one of those; I want a bad-boy provision.’ He already knew what it was.”

As an attorney, I know that we can give moral advice in addition to legal advice. Why are attorneys seemingly encouraging people to cheat by including these clauses? It’s one thing to have a prenuptial, it’s a whole different beast to have a protect you ass WHEN (not if) you mess up provision.

Fidelity comes in large part from surrounding yourself around people that encourage you to be faithful. We always look down on athletes for cheating, but maybe we should call out people like Kessler that tell them what they are going to do before they do it and make it easier for them to do.

I promise you that athletes would think twice before they act if they didn’t have people like Kessler around.

Source: ESPN

Yesterday’s biggest news was Eva Longoria Parker and her husband Tony’s alleged divorce.  It is now official (CNN 1).  Even though it seems like forever, they’ve only been married for three years.  Apparently he cheated on her.  Here are a few things that I’ve gathered that are of interest.

1. Tony Parker was 25 when he got married.  I’m 26 and I’m just now at the point where I’m 100% ready for marriage.  It’s doubtful that a 25 year old professional athlete (from France) would be ready for a lifetime of commitment.

2. Longoria claims here that they were together for 7 years (CNN2).  If you do the math, that’s 2003.  The problem is, her marraige to her first husband lasted from 2002-2004.  Does this mean she cheated on her first husband with Tony?  If so, she really can’t complain when the same thing happened to her.  Note, by the way, that Parker was 21 and she was 28.  Again, red flags all around here.

3. According to the CNN article above

[S]he found “hundreds of text messages” from a woman on Parker’s phone, and that this woman was revealed to be the wife of one of Parker’s teammates. 

The “Desperate Housewives” star will also talk about Parker’s infidelity early on in their marriage with another woman, one he kept in touch with via Facebook.

Third strike. Early on? How early could this have been? They’ve only been married three years!

Why do people presume that if a man cheats he won’t do it again.  Is it possible? Yes.  But, if anything, there should be a presumption that he will do it again.  People that mess up need to feel some consequence for their actions.  Why do you think people rob banks until they get caught?  It’s the same old story, just as Jenny Sanford what happened when she forgave Mark for having an affair.  That’s why I don’t believe in second chances (and nor should you).

As a man, I can tell you that many (dare I say most) expect for woman to forgive our indiscretions.  If women really want a man to be committed, they need to let them know early on that they will not tolerate cheating.  And if it happens, send a message by walking out the door.

Evan and Tony don’t have any kids together and they are both young, successful, and attractive.  There’s no reason why she should have stayed this long in the first place.

Barnes (L) and Thompson (Right)

We all know that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession.  I”m sure that stripping isn’t that far behind it.  We also know that call girls and strippers make really good money.

What’s new, however, is the mass appeal of being a hoe.  Karrine Steffans, also known as Superhead, has written three books, one of which is a New York Times Bestseller.  Some of the biggest celebrities today got their start from ”accidentally” releasing sextapes, such as Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.  The promise of fame and fortune from being a hoe even led to Laurence Fishbourne’s daughter to pornography (she said she was inspired by Kim K).  Moreover, every VH1 dating show casts women as money hungry bimbos that will do anything for 15 minutes of fame.

I guess this phenomenon really hit me when I read the story behind UK soccer player Wayne Rooney’s affair with Miss Jennifer Thompson.  Thompson and her best friend Amy Leigh Barnes went to Catholic school together, but decided early on that they wanted to be famous by sleeping with professional athletes.  Barnes eventually started dating soccer coach Ricardo Morrison after the two met on Facebook.  Morrison became violent once Barnes tried to leave her and he was eventually convicted of killing her.  Thompson is a 1,200 pound/night call girl.  She began receiving money for sex from professional soccer players while she was in high school.

One often wanders how stories like this happen.  But if you think about it, it’s not that hard to imagine.  There are very few aspiring role models for young women in the media.  There are media personalities (Tyra/Ellen), political figures (Michelle Obamas/Sarah Palin), but that’s about it.  BET gives out shows to rappers’ baby mamas.  VH1 gives out shows to women that are comfortable with three-way kisses.  And if you’ve slept with enough celebrities, you’ll have people knocking down on your door to write a book.  So what do we tell our daughters?  You can make go to school until you’re in your late 20s to be a doctor or you can get a 10-year head start and be a call girl?

Few people realize that the fast lifestyle is just that…fast.  One weeks hot women is the next week’s old news.  Women make much money money as doctors in lawyers in their 30s and beyond than video vixens, strippers, and prostitutes.

Just look at the relative popularity of Kim Kardashian (blue) and Paris Hilton (orange)

Kim v. Paris

This chart displays a couple of things.  First, it shows how short-lived Paris’s reign as heiress really was.  Second, it conveys that even though the Kardashians are seemingly ubiquituous, Kim K doesn’t even come close to where Paris Hilton was a few years ago.  The problem is that despite the fact that Kim K isn’t as big of a deal as she appears to be, she is still way more popular than the First Lady (orange).

Kim v. First Lady

 So if we don’t want our daughters to want to be Kim K, what needs to happen?  I think it’s relatively simple, don’t make being a hoe seem so profitable.  If you’re a man, you can stop employing the services of a hooker.  If you’re a woman, you can stop picking up those supermarket magazines with Kim K on the cover every week.  Everyone can stop watching their show(s).  Most importantly, you can be a living example of how to lady (as a man) or how to be a lady (as a woman).

Source: Daily Mail (UK)

Apparently DWade’s wife doesn’t ready blog because if she did, she would know that suing your husband’s mistress is lame. No woman can make your man cheat. Siohvaughn Wade claims to be suing Ms. Union on behalf of her 8 and 2 year old sons. Why she doesn’t blame Mr. Wade for failing to take responsibility is beyond me. It’s also beyond me why she acts like she’s never heard of an athlete cheating before. I know they’ve been together since HS, but still…

Source: Chicago Breaking News

Tiki and Ginny

Traci in Tiki's Jersey

Tiki Barber has recently separated from his wife of 11 years, Ginny, for a 23-year-old blonde that still has a MySpace page.  To make matters worse, Ginny is pregnant with twins.  This douchebag even went to Senegal with his mistress while his wife was 3 months pregnant.

This is a sad story indeed.  Barber has been a vocal advocate for being a positive father since his father was a philanderer.

When are we going to take this monogamy thing serious?  I think things have really gotten out of hand.  What example are we setting for the for men and women of America.  At what point are we going to fight for monogamy?  It seems like me and Dr. Drew are the only one’s fighting nowadays.

Source: NY Post

Watch the video below for a documentary on sex addiction by Winston Bennett, a former NBA player.  He talks about how he’s had sex with 90 different women in a month, how he cheated the day after his marriage, etc.

Where there’s smoke there’s fire.  That’s why I don’t understand the sex addict argument.  You don’t become a sex addict after you get married.  There’s a certain negligence that has to come with that.  Tiger’s wife is still a victim, but how do you not know that you’re husband is a sex addict (if such thing exists)?

According to Bennett, it’s natural for men to want to have sex and they will find a way whether it means having sex during the day or watching porn.  Given his concession, I don’t really see how we can classify his condition as an addition. Counselling didn’t appear to help his cause.

So what seems to be the solution?  Finding God and having people to hold him liable. That’s exactly why liability is the first part of L.O.V.E. You’ve got to hold yourself accountable and have people to hold you accountable. You can’t cheat unless you put yourself in a position to.

Source: Bossip

Worth 1000 Characters

Today one of of Tiger’s attention-craving mistresses, Joslyn James, launched a website called sextingjoslynjames.com.  I tried to visit the website, but it probably won’t load for now due to the heavy web traffic.  Until then, check out this Dscriber.  Tiger’s a naughty boy.

According to the Chicago Tribune, James, also known as Veronica Siwik-Daniels, using the website to generate publicity for herself.  The website says:

“Veronica is looking forward to the next chapter in her exciting career. Fans are encouraged to keep checking back here for future plans and sometimes controversial announcements,” the site states.

It’ll be interested to see how the Master’s Tournament treats him as they like to keep a low profile.

Tiger you put how much work into perfecting your game?  You also have to put in work to perfect a relationship.  Discipline is something you should know all too well.

According to Maryland Law it is adultery; a misdemeanor punishable by a $10 fine.  The article says former Raven’s player Michael McCrary’s wife dating other people while they were separated.  Let’s assume that there was sex involved, should it be considered cheating?

I believe this is one of those things that the legislature should revisit.  Adultery is about someone breaking the rules (parties agree to do one thing and the person does another).  From my understanding, dating other people is explicitly (if not implicitly) a part of the separation period.  Should people be punished when this is exactly when they know what the other person is doing.  The same would apply to “swingers” and polyamory.  Although I disagree with this lifestyle, I don’t believe people should be punished for it.

Source: Baltimore Sun (this was just a SMALL part of the article though)

Meet David Seaman (too easy of a target), a former goalkeeper.  Seamen stepped out on his wife of 11 years with Frankie Poultney, a Dancing on Ice Star (that’s actually not even that attractive).

Seamen’s wife, Debbie, was granted a “quickie” divorce (again too easy).  Good for her for leaving his cheating tail.  Note, however, that Debbie is actually Seamen’s second wife.  Debbie was the mistress in Seaman’s first marriage, and now she’s been cheated on herself.  New tag – Boomerang: what goes around comes around.

Source: Mirror (UK)