Jun 182011

We see powerful men falling all the time, but Professor Sara Lipton reminds us that historically powerful men were men that could resist temptation and men who got caught up with women were deemed weak.  This paragraph provides a great synopsis for this insightful article:

This conception of masculinity is relatively new, however. For most of Western history, the primary and most valued characteristic of manhood was self-mastery. Late antique and Roman writers, like Plutarch, lauded men for their ability to resist sexual temptation and control bodily desire through force of will and intellect. Too much sex was thought to weaken men

I firmly believe in the concept of self-mastery or the concept that we can control of our actions.  No one can make a man cheat.  While it is true that no one is perfect, we should all aspire for perfection.  Unfortunately, it seems as though today’s “leaders” want to control the budget without even being about to control their own lives.

Source: NYTimes

Nov 192010

By now, you’ve probably heard the story of Rev. Cedric Miller of NJ. He has given 50 top officials in his church one week to delete their Facebook accounts because says Facebook can (and has) lead to adultery.

I have long advocated safe Facebooking, but I’d never tell someone not to be on the service. Are couples tempted when they hear from an ex on Facebook? Certainly. But the same thing goes for unsolicited cell phones and e-mail.

I don’t believe in a one-size fits all approach. There are millions of people that are mature enough to use Facebook to keep in touch with friends and not be tempted to have an affair. If you are tempted to cheat, then maybe you shouldn’t be on Facebook. But what about people that are 100% comfortable in their relationship and have absolutely no desire to cheat. Certainly they should be able to use the service.

The reality is, if people want to cheat they are going to find a way whether it’s Facebook or the local grocery store. If we want to attack infidelity, we get to the root of the problem: weak and unhappy individuals. If you’re not happy in your marriage, staying off of Facebook is not going to solve your problems.

Source: CNN

Sep 032010

The great thing about Google Reader is that it’s extremely easy to search old articles from your feed.  I found this article while searching Psychology Today articles with the word “polyamory” mentioned.  I really just want to copy and paste the entire article because it’s on point, but out of respect, I’m only going to direct you to the source.  Enjoy.

May 142010

Monogamy is not easy for some.  Especially those that haven’t been monogamous in 23 years, like Mickey Rourke.  Nevertheless, he’s monogamous now that he’s dating Russian model/artist Anastasia Makarenko.  He admits that it’s not easy, but the important thing is that he’s trying.  Monogamy is a fight and you only lose when you stop fighting.

Source: IndyPosted

May 142010

Brand & Perry

Brand & Perry

Whenever I hear about people talking about sex addiction and monogamy not being natural, I look to cases like this.  I read this article back in November (before this website was started), but was reminded of it when I saw an article on Russell Brand and Katy Perry’s upcoming marriage.

There’s no secret that Russell Brand has a history as a ladies man.  However, after finding the right woman,  he says that he’s no longer satisfies with “calamitous promiscuity.”  He’s decided to give monogamy a try now that he’s dating woman #1 according to Maxim Magazine (I mean you can’t go higher than #1).

In the interview, Brand also opened up about being comfortable with monogamy these days. The comedian has previously admitted to suffering from many addictions, including sex, but he claims to be reformed. “I am living in a different way at the moment. Regardless of what happens in my current situation,” he said. “I am unlikely to be satisfied with the calamitous promiscuity of the preceding five or six years.”

He went on to say that monogamy is not the only change he’s made since getting sober about seven years ago. He’s living a much healthier life overall. “I’m living in a disciplined way, do lots of yoga, exercise and transcendental meditation. It’s not half good,” he said. “They give you a mantra. … You feel attuned to a consciousness that is beyond your identity and beyond life.”

Six months later, it seems like Brand is still holding strong.  I’m extremely proud of the guy.  Way to set an example that anyone can be monogamous if they put their mind to it.  It’s just about finding the right person at the right time.

Source: MTV News

May 142010

I really think it’s time to have someone that knows fidelity go against Noel. I think Bila did a good job, but you’ve got to get to the root of the issue.

1. There’s a market for everything, but that doesn’t mean you have to exploit it. There’s a market for every drug, child pornography, etc. Bila did make this point.

2. Most important: Ashley Trashy Madison DOES encourage people to cheat. When the risk (cost) associated with an act goes down, people are more likely to engage in that behavior. It’s simple cost-benefit analysis. We act where the benefits outweigh the costs. If you reduce the costs, it becomes more desirable. Please believe that if there was a way to eliminate the trace of child pornography, viewership would skyrocket.

3. It’s not a marriage if you have to cheat to stay happy. Couples go through problems. That’s why you have to talk them out. But when you feel as though things can’t possibly get better, then you need to move on. Sleeping with someone is not going to make your problems go away.

4. Attack bad logic altogether. While I don’t care too much about shows like Desperate Housewives, at the end of the day, it’s just a show. Trashy Madison is a real website that affects real lives. Watching Desperate Housewives may encouragepeople to cheat, but it certainly doesn’t make it easier to cheat. And that’s the problem that I have with the site.

Source: Mediaite

May 102010

Wow this is huge.  I was actually checking Lamebook when I heard about this page.  In less than 2 months, 1 MILLION people on Facebook have publicly affirmed that they will never cheat in a relationship.  Monogamy is something that you have to speak into existence.  If you go into a relationship thinking that “you don’t hope to cheat” or “you probably won’t cheat,” you’ve already conceded defeat.

Be sure to become a fan of this page (I still say fan because it doesn’t make since to say become a “like” of the page).