I talked in my previous post about issues of weight in the Black community. Given the FIGURE I think it’s time we address this issue.

I believe that the Black community is at a HUGE crossroads.  When my dad was growing up, women were put into two categories: sex symbol (Diana Ross/Pam Grier) and mom.

A great deal, however, has changed since my father’s generation. It’s now more socially acceptable to date outside of the race and today’s Black men have grown up with the expectation that their wives should be sexy. When my dad was growing up, women like Esther Rolle were cast as mothers. Now they have women like Essence Atkins playing mom. Naturally, Black men want to marry (and not just admire as a sex symbol) women that look like Beyonce and someone on the cover of King Magazine or the JET Beauty of the Week.

The problem is that most Black women don’t look like Essence Atkins.  80% of Black women are overweight compared with 58% of White women.  The other problem is that Black women are often told (implicitly or explicitly) that there’s nothing wrong with being overweight.  Just look at the most powerful Black women in the media: Oprah, Mo’Nique, Wendy Williams, Sherri Sheppard, and Tyra Banks.  Tyra is the only one amongst them that is not overweight (despite Wendy Williams’ numerous liposuction surgeries). Now try to think about role models for White women that are overweight.  All I can come up with is Susan Boyle. I also know for a fact that Black women expressly tell their daughters that there’s nothing wrong with being overweight (again because they grew up in a different generation).

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being a healthy average size.  I’ve never heard of a Black woman being anorexic or bulimic and that’s certainly a good thing.   But with all of the discussion on the broken state of Black relationships, I can’t help but notice that this discussion has been intentionally omitted because it is sensitive and hurts feelings.

I’m not out to hurt feelings, but I do know that silent problems don’t go away.  I’m going to speak for professional Black men when I say that we would like to see Black women take control of their health.  When you go to a non-HBCU for undergrad and law school, you can’t help but notice that you see White women running and/or lifting weights, but not Black women.  I’m not talking to the people that don’t need to go to the gym (some people just have good genes).  All I’m saying is that if you’re having trouble finding a man (even if you are in shape), it doesn’t hurt to go to the gym.  Just look at Jennifer Hudson.

While women on all of those dating shows (The Bachelor, Flavor of Love, Frank the Entertainer, Chad Ochocinco) may have different complexions, they all have one thing in common: the women are all in shape.

Men nowadays want to marry a sex symbol. Looks and the ability to cook, clean, raise kids, etc. are not mutually exclusive, but if a guy has to choose, he’s going to go with looks nearly every time.  Just look at that idiot that married Kendra. Speaking of Family Matters, what about Darius McCrary who married Karrine Steffans aka Superhead?

I love curvy women and in that respect, Black women have one up on the competition.  In fact, seeing a curvy woman has the same impact on a man as doing drugs. BUT in order to look like Beyonce, you’ve got to hit the gym.  Beyonce works out at least 5 times a week.  And I promise you that if she stopped one day, she’d go from a 20 ounce to a 2 liter bottle.  Your curves are a gift, and like all gifts, you either use it or lose it.

*Just check out this timeline of mothers on Black sitcoms and look at the correlation between size and time.

Good Times (1974)

The Jeffersons (1975)

What's Happening!! (1976)

The Cosby Show (1984)

Family Matters (1989)

Fresh Prince (1990)

Fresh Prince (1990)

My Wife and Kids (2001)

Everybody Hates Chris (2005)

Are We There Yet (2010)

It’s not secret that the Boondocks is one of my favorite shows. I think that the show’s satire does a wonderful job of tackling issues in the Black community. If you watch the Boondocks and all you see is coonery, then you obviously aren’t paying attention and don’t understand the show.

In a nutshell: The Boondocks is the story of America told from the perspective of Black men. Every character in the show represents an archetype of Black men in society. Also, the fact that we don’t know anything about Huey and Riley’s father and they are raised by their grandfather is done on purpose.

This episode addresses the dating attitudes in the Black community. Granddad finally meets a woman that is independent, beautiful, and intelligent and still manages to mess things up with her.

Highlights of the Show
1. Illustrates how Black men talk about Black women behind closed doors (i.e. often complain that they don’t work out, but White women do).
2. Illustrates why you shouldn’t stereotype (i.e. not all Black women have kids)
3. Illustrates problems with dating a “dime” (i.e. you need to accept the fact that guys will constantly check her out wherever you are).
4. Illustrates that no man (Black or otherwise) has a preference so strong that they would not date a Black woman (i.e. addresses the conception that there are Black men out there that would never date a Black woman).
5. Illustrates that even though men want the perfect woman, many would still try to find something wrong with her or not be secure enough if he found her.

Moral of the story for Black men: There are plenty of beautiful, independent, loving Black women with no kids out there, but it will not work out until you are emotionally secure first. Truth is many Black men are intimidated by an accomplished woman.

Moral of the story for Black women: We live in a global society. Men (Black or otherwise) don’t really care about race when we make dating decisions. Black men, especially ones with status, want to date women that are slender, irrespective of race. Given the statistics, it’s important to adopt healthy and exercise habits.

Enjoy!

You’ve all heard the story of Debrahlee Lorenzana, the sexy Citibank employee that was allegedly fired for being too hot.  When I first heard about the story, I knew something was sketchy because she was giving herself way too much exposure (i.e. numerous photoshoots).  It comes out that my gut instinct was right.  Just check out this video and this piercing piece from Above the Law exposing her for the attention-seeker she is:

Despite the truth coming out, people have still been posting on her Facebook groups to show support. Let’s give it a rest people.

She’s a prime example of why people need to do research before they form opinions.

I can finally say that I’m done studying for the Bar.  I pray that I never have to do this again.  A LOT has happened since I started studying for the Bar: I’ve exposed Ashley Madison for being behind the MyMarriageMatters.org site, my computer died, I started my first legal job, and Damon Evans of my Alma Mater UGA lost his $600,000 job as Athletic Director for getting caught driving while intoxicated with red panties in his lap.  I’ve still got hundreds of articles that I need to catch up on.

The Manogamy Movement won’t stop; it may change form a little bit.  Until now, I’ve focused more on using my blog to reach people.  I believe that I can do a better job reaching people through interactive media, such as Twitter and Facebook.  As such, I will reserve my blog for MAJOR articles, relationship advice, and other news on the Manogamy Movement.  I’m just going to post everyday articles to Facebook and Twitter.  Remember you can go to facebook.com/manogamy and twitter.com/manogamy.

Also, I’m still looking for someone to assist me with the blog.  I have a few people in mind, so hopefully I’ll have some help soon.  I also have a “top secret” job that restricts what I can stay on this blog, so I’ve got to be more careful with what I say.

It certainly feels good to be back and I thank everyone for their support during the 2.5 roughest months of my life.

Regards,

A. Jarrod Jenkins

Quick Bar Study Break – Ashley Trashy Madison has sued the owners of AshleyMadisonSucks.com and AshleyMadisonScam.com for $75,000 each on the grounds that they have infringed their trademark.  Trashy Madison claims that the sites are “confusingly similar.”

Now, I’m no trademark law scholar, but I have taken trademark and I know that “gripe sites” generally are okay, especially when they have a noncommercial purpose.  But don’t take it from me, just see what the Las Vegas Trademark Attorney has to say about it:

I don’t know how Canadian courts handle this kind of case up north, but down here, we would call this a pretty strong example of a) non-commercial, fair use of a party’s trademark and b) using allegations of trademark infringement in a lawsuit to quash the lawful exercise of free speech.

Of course, is it really no surprise that a company whose entire business model is established around encouraging extra-marital affairs would resort to a such a questionable course of action in order to obtain possession of some gripe website domain names (and removing some criticism of its services at the same time).

Hmm…I know from first-hand experience that Trashy Madison doesn’t like it when people speak out against them…

Sources: Las Vegas Trademark Attorney and Courthouse News Service