This is always a hard question and I don’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer.  I personally don’t think it’s my business to out people that are cheating.  All I can do is live my life and hope that I can influence people not to cheat.  The Manogamy Movement is aimed at preventing people from cheating or getting people that are cheating to stop.  Exposing an affair is not going to change that behavior.

Q. My boyfriend and I spent the night with his best friend, “Jimmy,’’ and his girlfriend, “Eve.’’ My boyfriend asked me not to bring up the couple’s relationship troubles. Jimmy was cheating on Eve, even though they have two children together and planned to get married.

After the kids went to bed and the men went outside, Eve confided that she and Jimmy had issues in the bedroom — she thought it was a secret. I told her I already knew.

She asked me if I thought Jimmy was cheating on her. She was suspicious and said her counselor suggested she ask everybody she knew. Most people told Eve they didn’t know, or that Jimmy was faithful and a great guy. I know that a lot of his friends cheat on their girlfriends and encourage Jimmy to do the same. It disgusted me, and I told her everything. After that, Jimmy and Eve broke up, and Eve got full custody of the children.

Now Jimmy hates my boyfriend (not to mention me). But he treated Eve terribly and was physically abusive. My boyfriend is angry and says he lost one of his best friends because of me. He makes me feel guilty and brings it up at every opportunity.

Now wish I hadn’t said anything. Was I wrong? I thought I was doing the right thing.

FRIENDLESS

Source: Boston Globe

Brand & Perry

Whenever I hear about people talking about sex addiction and monogamy not being natural, I look to cases like this.  I read this article back in November (before this website was started), but was reminded of it when I saw an article on Russell Brand and Katy Perry’s upcoming marriage.

There’s no secret that Russell Brand has a history as a ladies man.  However, after finding the right woman,  he says that he’s no longer satisfies with “calamitous promiscuity.”  He’s decided to give monogamy a try now that he’s dating woman #1 according to Maxim Magazine (I mean you can’t go higher than #1).

In the interview, Brand also opened up about being comfortable with monogamy these days. The comedian has previously admitted to suffering from many addictions, including sex, but he claims to be reformed. “I am living in a different way at the moment. Regardless of what happens in my current situation,” he said. “I am unlikely to be satisfied with the calamitous promiscuity of the preceding five or six years.”

He went on to say that monogamy is not the only change he’s made since getting sober about seven years ago. He’s living a much healthier life overall. “I’m living in a disciplined way, do lots of yoga, exercise and transcendental meditation. It’s not half good,” he said. “They give you a mantra. … You feel attuned to a consciousness that is beyond your identity and beyond life.”

Six months later, it seems like Brand is still holding strong.  I’m extremely proud of the guy.  Way to set an example that anyone can be monogamous if they put their mind to it.  It’s just about finding the right person at the right time.

Source: MTV News

Here’s a tiny piece of advice:  If you are a mother that abandons your family, people will notice that you’re gone.  Meet Tiffany Tehan, a 31-year-old married woman with a 13-month-aged daughter.  Meet Tre Hutcherson, a 42-year-old married man.  Tiffany and Tre met at at a Circle K and after developing a relationship eventually decided to run away and start a new life in Florida.  Tiffany figured that no one would notice.  Um…yeah.

She said that she started the affair because she’s under a lot of stress.  I don’t know what’s Tre’s excuse.  After a national search, they were found in a hotel in Florida.  Tiffany’s husband even claims that she wants him back (I’m not really sure what’s wrong with that guy).

Here’s the video of them talking about their experience on Good Morning America.

As someone that has been in a relationship where I started developing feelings for someone else, I know what it feels like.  And because I do, I can tell you that it is best to cut things off before they go too far.  You know when you’ve crossed that line emotionally.  Wouldn’t it be best to get a divorce first and then be with your “true love” as opposed to running away and completely abandoning your 13-month-old baby? This is real life, not a darn love story. Smh.

Source: Christianity Today

Meet Zac Goldsmith, age 35.  He was recently elected to parliament.   He’s also the son of a billionaire. And he’s an adulterer.  And his wife filed for divorce.  You know what that means.  Yeah the Manogamy Movement’s favorite letter: L (liability).  Like my mother, the philosopher, says, “You lay, you pay.”  She’s usually talking about getting someone pregnant before marriage, but the phrase certainly applies to people that have affairs.  Some people speculate that Goldsmith will have to fork out 150M pounds.  Mrs. Goldsmith may not get this much, but she’s going to be broken off nonetheless.

Zac got married nearly 11 years ago when he was 24.  He obviously wasn’t ready for marriage.  Goldsmith’s alleged flame was with Alice Rothschild, a 26-year-old “banking dynasty heiress.”  The crappy thing is that Alice’s sister Kate is married to Goldsmith’s brother Ben.  This means that she’s his sister-in-law.  Sucks to be you buddy, especially around the holidays (how awkward).

Source: Telegraph

I really think it’s time to have someone that knows fidelity go against Noel. I think Bila did a good job, but you’ve got to get to the root of the issue.

1. There’s a market for everything, but that doesn’t mean you have to exploit it. There’s a market for every drug, child pornography, etc. Bila did make this point.

2. Most important: Ashley Trashy Madison DOES encourage people to cheat. When the risk (cost) associated with an act goes down, people are more likely to engage in that behavior. It’s simple cost-benefit analysis. We act where the benefits outweigh the costs. If you reduce the costs, it becomes more desirable. Please believe that if there was a way to eliminate the trace of child pornography, viewership would skyrocket.

3. It’s not a marriage if you have to cheat to stay happy. Couples go through problems. That’s why you have to talk them out. But when you feel as though things can’t possibly get better, then you need to move on. Sleeping with someone is not going to make your problems go away.

4. Attack bad logic altogether. While I don’t care too much about shows like Desperate Housewives, at the end of the day, it’s just a show. Trashy Madison is a real website that affects real lives. Watching Desperate Housewives may encouragepeople to cheat, but it certainly doesn’t make it easier to cheat. And that’s the problem that I have with the site.

Source: Mediaite

Sophie Froment

If you are a young, intelligent, beautiful woman running for Miss Universe-Canada, the last thing you want is an endorsement from Ashley Trashy Madison. Sophie Froment is a member of the marital dating site and Ashley Madison has been trying to get people to vote for her.

Sophie is 20-years-old, so I don’t know if she is married or not. Even if she is single, she still has no business being on a marital affairs website, especially when her pageant profile states:

Sophie Froment is not just your ordinary girl; she is the girl next door…

Sophie is also a person who is sensitive. She doesn’t like to be shaken up, or confronted by other people, because she is the kind of girl who likes to help, to talk things out, and not a kind of short-tempered person who wants to fight…

She’s an honest person who always tries to be the best that she can be – which is one of her best qualities. She has learned that to be respected, you have to respect; and to receive, you have to give…

I’m pretty sure the girl next door wouldn’t join Trashy Madison. I guess she’s not too nonconfrontational since she likes sleeping with married men. For some strange reason, wives don’t like that. And you can’t respect other people’s relationships too much if you are a Trashy Madison member.

It’s a darn shame too because her resume is otherwise flawless.

Source: Miss Universe Canada

Random point: Isn’t Trashy Madison supposed to be a confidential website. Why is it that they are putting their members on blast like that? I’m fairly sure Sophie didn’t ask for their help.

We’ve all done IT. And by it, I mean try to turn a random hookup into a relationship.  Maybe it’s because we later realize that they’re a nice person.  Maybe it’s because we’re nice people and don’t like the way we used the other person.  Either way, it’s a bad idea.  A new study from the University of Iowa found that

compared with those in serious relationships, people hooking up with a stranger or acquaintance and lovers in “friends with benefits” arrangements are much more likely to sleep around simultaneously, spreading potential discord and S.T.D.’s.

Also “[s]ex within the first week of a relationship is associated with a higher risk of non-monogamy.”  But we already knew this, right?  After you are going to respect a woman less if you have a one-night stand with her than if you have a physical relationship after being in an exclusive relationship.  I don’t care what anyone says, no man can truly respect a woman that he could have sex with without a formal title.  Men are possessive by nature and we would like to we’re the only ones that can sleep with a woman.  But if you have sex with someone without so much as a title, you’ve got to know or have reason to know that others could do the same.

Source: NY Times

I’m not going to dwell on this story because I don’t really care.  Here’s my Twitter/Facebook Version.  NBC Today Show Host Matt Lauer allegedly cheated w/ 2 women at Winter Olympics.  So did Tiki Barber.  He’s moved out of their home.

Business trips and weekends with the boys are opportune times to have an affair.  That’s why you need to know your limitations.  The Olympics aren’t that long (what 2 weeks?) to be away from home.  These are the times when you most need to embrace the “L”.  Make frequent check-ins with your spouse.  Let her know where you are going if you hang out with the fellas.  Be sure to call her when you get in.  Wear your wedding ring to show that you’re off the market.  But then again, those darn Canadians don’t care if you’re married or not.  Just look at Ashley Trashy Madison.

Source: San Francisco Chronicle

First off, I’d like to thank Gov. Mark Sanford for clearing up any doubt that I am eligible to run for governor.  I mean this guy is a certified class act.  Let’s examine the state of his life since last summer’s scandal.

Sanford has been censured by the House. His wife, Jenny Sanford, divorced him in March after penning a tell-all book describing their relationship. She’s now dating a Georgia businessman.

And Mark Sanford agreed to pay the largest ethics fines in state history for, among other things, his use of state planes for personal and political purposes.

The term-limited Republican, once considered a possible 2012 presidential contender, leaves office in January after completing his second term.

Meanwhile, Jenny Sanford has been a popular talk show guest whose political capital is rising. On Thursday she’ll be on Dr. Phil recalling the affair. And on Friday, she’ll be campaigning for state Rep. Nikki Haley in her GOP primary bid to replace Sanford and become the state’s first woman chief executive.

So after all of that you’re still meeting up with a divorced average looking woman from Argentina with two kids?  The post right before this was about a guy who ruined his life and wants to kill himself.  Why is it that Gov. Sanford is making weekend trips to Florida with the same woman that caused all of this drama?  I really don’t get this guy; he’s a Grade A douchebag.  He’s obviously learned nothing from this whole encounter which is kinda scary.

Source: NPR

There’s nothing in this world worth ending your life over…even if it is your fault.  Meet “Shattered.” He’s been married for 19 years and has two children.  That’s the good part.  The bad part according to him is:

I fooled around throughout my marriage because I could. I justified it by telling myself the women knew what they were doing, and I never made any false promises about leaving my wife. She suspected a couple of times, but always gave me the benefit of the doubt.

My last affair ended publicly with every gory detail exposed. My family, work, reputation — everything that mattered to me — have been destroyed. I can’t talk about any of it to a therapist because I am so ashamed. Friends, family and co-workers now shun me. I have hit rock bottom.

“Shattered” instructed Dear Abby to “print this as a warning to other men like me that when they hit bottom — as will surely happen — there’s nowhere to turn.”

Here is Dear Abby’s response:

There is life after divorce. And, as many celebrities can attest, there is also life after public embarrassment and career setbacks. So straighten your backbone and keep marching forward. While it may not seem like it right now, there are better days ahead.

I think she handled it well.  I would just add that you can’t run away from your problems.  Suicide is not going to make your family come back.  It’s only going to make them hurt more than they already do.  Being a man is about being liable for your actions.  You knew that this could have likely occurred and willingly took the risk in the midst of the consequences.  Would you have felt remorseful if you hadn’t gotten caught.  Being a risk-taker is about handling the good AND the bad.  You have to deal with this situation.  The first thing you have to do is think about the red flags from your marriage so that you won’t repeat the mistake.  What caused you to cheat in the first place?  Wrong woman? Wrong time?  I’ve lost out on a great relationship because of a mistake that I made in the past.  But your mistake will be in vain if you don’t use that experience to grow as a person.