Okay You Let Infidelity Ruin Your Life. Please Don’t Kill Yourself Over It.

There’s nothing in this world worth ending your life over…even if it is your fault.  Meet “Shattered.” He’s been married for 19 years and has two children.  That’s the good part.  The bad part according to him is:

I fooled around throughout my marriage because I could. I justified it by telling myself the women knew what they were doing, and I never made any false promises about leaving my wife. She suspected a couple of times, but always gave me the benefit of the doubt.

My last affair ended publicly with every gory detail exposed. My family, work, reputation — everything that mattered to me — have been destroyed. I can’t talk about any of it to a therapist because I am so ashamed. Friends, family and co-workers now shun me. I have hit rock bottom.

“Shattered” instructed Dear Abby to “print this as a warning to other men like me that when they hit bottom — as will surely happen — there’s nowhere to turn.”

Here is Dear Abby’s response:

There is life after divorce. And, as many celebrities can attest, there is also life after public embarrassment and career setbacks. So straighten your backbone and keep marching forward. While it may not seem like it right now, there are better days ahead.

I think she handled it well.  I would just add that you can’t run away from your problems.  Suicide is not going to make your family come back.  It’s only going to make them hurt more than they already do.  Being a man is about being liable for your actions.  You knew that this could have likely occurred and willingly took the risk in the midst of the consequences.  Would you have felt remorseful if you hadn’t gotten caught.  Being a risk-taker is about handling the good AND the bad.  You have to deal with this situation.  The first thing you have to do is think about the red flags from your marriage so that you won’t repeat the mistake.  What caused you to cheat in the first place?  Wrong woman? Wrong time?  I’ve lost out on a great relationship because of a mistake that I made in the past.  But your mistake will be in vain if you don’t use that experience to grow as a person.