I love it how whenever people cheat they say that they are going to stay together for the kids.  Why is it that the cheating spouse(s) couldn’t think about the kids beforehand?  Cheating is not just a private action.  It affects family, friends, work, etc.

No cheater thinks that they’ll get caught.  But what happens when you do?  How do you explain this to your kids?  What if your kid catches you in the act?

Not only does cheating hurt your child in the present, “[a]dultery can damage a child’s sense of trust and influence their understanding of love and marriage as children and adults, ” says Ana Nogales author of “Parents Who Cheat.”  That’s why cheating is such a selfish act.  You are so concerned about yourself that you fail to consider how you can hurt others.

Getting married is a privilege and so is having kids.  If you want the freedom of not having to think about other people’s feelings, then don’t get into a serious relationship.  You can’t have your wedding cake and eat it too.

Source: Miami Herald

Extra: Dear Annie: Child Witnesses Infidelity

Simply put: “Because the Bible says so” doesn’t win arguments.  I am a Christian, but I know that in order to win people over the cause of monogamy, I’m going to have to use my lawyering skills.  That’s why I talk the game of logic to people.

Another reason is that by associating myself with a church, I have less control.  Whenever a preacher commits adultery, it would make us look bad.  Most recently, a prominent Texas pastor resigned after admitting to infidelity.  I’m not going to go into much detail, but you can read about it here.

What I envision for the Manogamy Movement is an army of men that are going to stand up for fidelity whether they follow organized religion or not.  I want men that are mentally strong.  And just because you go to church doesn’t mean you’re at the level where you need to be.

Here’s my follow up response:

Your response does nothing to address my underlying questions:

Where is the discussion of the role of social factors in infidelity? What makes AM think definitively that infidelity is a genetic issue?  As an attorney, Noel Biderman should know that you cannot just prove your point, you must also refute the other side.

If cheating is genetic, then why is it that AM Founder Noel Biderman doesn’t cheat on his wife?

Since we’re no different from animals and cannot control our actions, should we even have laws on statutory rape?

Your response does nothing to address my underlying questions:

Where is the discussion of the role of social factors in infidelity? What makes AM think definitively that infidelity is a genetic issue?  As an attorney, Noel Biderman should know that you cannot just prove your point, you must also refute the other side.

If cheating is genetic, then why is it that AM Founder Noel Biderman doesn’t cheat on his wife?

Since we’re no different from animals and cannot control our actions, should we even have laws on statutory rape?

Once again, Ashley Madison manages to distort the truth.  Monogamy has nothing to do with genetics.  If you believe that having a ring finger that is longer than an index finger makes you predisposed to cheating, then I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn that I’d like to sell you.

The TRUTH is that monogamy is a social institution.  There are numerous factors that influence one’s decision to be monogamous:  parents, religion, personal experiences, happiness in a relationship etc.

This is something that you all should know since Noel Biderman, founder of your companies, claims that he is a monogamous relationship because this is how he was raised. (”Mr Biderman, who’s happily married with two young children, says he was raised to believe in a monogamous relationship. http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-national/infidelity-website-launches-in-australia-20100412-s3i6.html)

But we’re not raising people to be in monogamous relationships anymore.  Look at all of the scandals in the media.  It’s pretty hard for a kid nowadays to believe in monogamy being that all he/she hears are stories on infidelity.

If you want to talk about what’s natural, just look at a dog.  Dogs act solely off of instinct and will hump anything.  Fortunately, we as a developed species have developed forethought based on personal mores and laws.  That’s why if you see an attractive 15-year-old, you know to keep walking down the street instead of trying to pick her up.

I’m saying this as someone who cheated on every girlfriend that I’ve ever had until my present girlfriend.  I’ve never so much as poked a girl on Facebook since we’ve been together.  Why? Because I am 1) mature and 2) extremely happy.  Ironically enough, happiness is the same reason why Noel Biderman claims that he doesn’t cheat.  Go figure.

I’m sure the moderators will try to go ahead and delete this comment because you all don’t want the truth exposed.  Doesn’t really matter to me, because I’ll just post it up on my blog.

Once again, Ashley Madison manages to distort the truth.  Monogamy has nothing to do with genetics.  If you believe that having a ring finger that is longer than an index finger makes you predisposed to cheating, then I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn that I’d like to sell you.

The TRUTH is that monogamy is a social institution.  There are numerous factors that influence one’s decision to be monogamous:  parents, religion, personal experiences, happiness in a relationship etc.

This is something that you all should know since Noel Biderman, founder of your companies, claims that he is a monogamous relationship because this is how he was raised. (”Mr Biderman, who’s happily married with two young children, says he was raised to believe in a monogamous relationship. http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-national/infidelity-website-launches-in-australia-20100412-s3i6.html)

But we’re not raising people to be in monogamous relationships anymore.  Look at all of the scandals in the media.  It’s pretty hard for a kid nowadays to believe in monogamy being that all he/she hears are stories on infidelity.

If you want to talk about what’s natural, just look at a dog.  Dogs act solely off of instinct and will hump anything.  Fortunately, we as a developed species have developed forethought based on personal mores and laws.  That’s why if you see an attractive 15-year-old, you know to keep walking down the street instead of trying to pick her up.

I’m saying this as someone who cheated on every girlfriend that I’ve ever had until my present girlfriend.  I’ve never so much as poked a girl on Facebook since we’ve been together.  Why? Because I am 1) mature and 2) extremely happy.  Ironically enough, happiness is the same reason why Noel Biderman claims that he doesn’t cheat.  Go figure.

I’m sure the moderators will try to go ahead and delete this comment because you all don’t want the truth exposed.  Doesn’t really matter to me, because I’ll just post it up on my blog (which you’re reading now).

Monogamy the Game

I looked up “monogamy” on Google Images the other day and saw a picture of a Monogamy board game.  I thought it was a joke, but it’s for real.  Here is the description from the site,

MONOGAMY A Hot Affair… With Your Partner!

Embark on an illicit affair with your partner as you both rediscover why you fell for each other in the first place and recreate those heady honeymoon days. Get to know each other on a completely new level as you talk about things you probably never have before. Whether you’ve been together a few months or a few years, Monogamy really is the perfect start to a hot, steamy affair…

Described by players as “addictive” and “a beautiful well thought out game.”

The game contains 390 different ideas and actions at three progressive levels:

* Intimate
* Passionate
* Steamy

The game can be purchased for 25 pounds.

Lord knows Halle Berry is has had her trouble with men.  Her first husband David Justice allegedly beat her and her second husband Eric Benet cheated on her.  Now she and her partner/father of her child Gabriel Aubry have split after a four year relationship.

Apparently there were two causes of the divorce – their 9-year age difference (she’s 43 and he’s 34) and his “wandering eye.”  According to the source:

The source adds that Gabriel’s wandering eye was also a factor in the split: “… he would never cheat on her, but I suspect that he had become attracted to someone and that he felt he needed to break it off with Halle before anything developed any further.”

I think Gabriel did the right thing here.  Many men have these feelings and think that they are normal, but in fact they are not.  It is okay to find other people attractive, but it is not okay to lust after someone to the point where you may make a mistake later on.  I MUCH rather him realize this beforehand, than to make a mistake and try to clean up things on the back end.  It’s not easy to break things off before you even cheat, but that’s a sign of true maturity.

I know that they have a child together, but they are not married.  Moreover, emotional affairs can be just as bad as physical ones.  If Halle truly were the apple of his eye, he wouldn’t be tempted like that.  And while 99% of men can’t understand why he would do this to her, I’ve been in a similar situation before and can attest that he did the right thing.

Source: Fox News

There’s not much to this story. I just wanted to post the cool title. Like the whole Boobquake fiasco, we’ve got to stop blaming women for the lack of self control amongst men.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/7639728/Suntanned-women-to-be-arrested-under-Islamic-dress-code.html

I don’t watch porn.  It really doesn’t interest me.  Part of the reason why I don’t watch it is because it encourages behavior that many people emulate in real life.  Some people get turned on by watching a film about a man sleeping with someone’s wife and the man sitting right there watching.  Some disturbed people do this in real life.  Many men take what they see porn stars do and try to emulate it in the bedroom.  The vast majority of pornography is degrading to women, but yet people not only watch these films, but find it proper to do these things to their wife.

At least one guy has enough sense to know the difference (but not enough sense to stop watching porn period).  In his article “Don’t Try This at Home – Stuff Guys Want in Their Porn, Not in Their Beds,” the author discusses acts that probably shouldn’t be tried at home.  When he talks about fulfilling fantasies, he says

Take me. For some, sick reason, I love a porn involving a wife banging some other dude while her husband is fully in the know, or even in the room! Why? Because I’m insane! The husband’s just sitting there, and then there’s the wife being all “Oh this is sooo good,” clearly implying it’s better than what her husband offers.

For some reason, this porn scenario really turns me on. But the thought of real-life adultery freaks me out to no end. I don’t want another dude in the room! I also don’t want to sleep with someone’s wife. I’m not out to destroy lives. (Or have some creepy dude eyeball my johnson.) Really — even if I was offered a chance to sleep with a super-gorgeous woman who was married, and the husband was like, “Dude, dude, it’s totally cool. Seriously,” I couldn’t do it.

Unfortunately, there are still plenty of confused people out there that think that ejaculating on a woman’s face is making love.  Not being able to distinguish between “acting” (or whatever you want to call porn) and real life harm relationships in two ways.  1) If you treat your significant other like a porn star, it means that you don’t respect her.  If you don’t value someone, then there’s nothing to keep you from stepping out on them.  2) If your significant other refuses to be your porn star, then you very well may consult the services of someone that will let you [insert fetish].

Source: LemonDrop

to keep the unenforced law.  In the past the crime was standing on the gallows with a noose around one’s neck.  Now the penalty is a $1200 fine.

I have a serious problem with unenforced laws remaining on the books.  You can’t just pick and choose when you are going to enforce it.  For some strange reason, they always end up getting enforced against minorities and poor people.  What if we did that with murder prosecutions?  In my home state of Georgia, we still a fornication before marriage law on the books (in addition to infidelity) as if college students aren’t getting it on on a weekly daily basis.

My second problem with this law is that unenforced laws have no deterrent effect.  If the point of the law is to prevent people from having sex, then it clearly is not getting the job done.  Rather, adultery is something that is inherently personal.  People don’t need the government, especially with numerous presidents that have had affairs telling them that adultery is the way to go.  The desire to be faithful is a personal decision and no unenforced law with a $1200 fine is going to change that.

Only private enforcement (i.e. friends holding friends accountable, blogs such as this, etc.) are going to cause people to really dig deep and think about the implications of cheating.

Source: Boston Herald

The Manogamy Movement is a website that is dedicated towards promoting monogamy amongst men.  There are two ways I can achieve that goal A) Post articles about monogamy/love OR B) Post articles about infidelity and then attack that behavior.  This website does both. If you look at the front page of my website, you will currently see the following articles.

1. Article about Trey Songz – Type A

2. Article about Ramsay Gordon – Type B

3. Article about Dr. Phil’s ridiculous theory on why men cheat – N/A

4. Article about Broadway play on infidelity – Type B

5. Article on Swedish princess – Type B

6. Article about Monogamy the movie – Type A

7.  Article about marriage via Skype – Type A

8. Article about Monogamy Mobile – N/A

9. Article about people that used volcanic ash as excuse to cheat – Type B

10. Family Guy episode about Peter resisting boss’ advances – Type A

So add that up.  That comes up to 4 articles about monogamy and 4 articles about infidelity.  How is it that the majority of my site is about infidelity (and just for the record, #11 & 12 are both Type A).

If you notice, my website is based on current events.  I have created a feed which I read everyday in Google Reader that consists of articles on monogamy and infidelity.  As you can imagine, infidelity is more noteworthy than monogamy.  I don’t post 75% of the articles that come up on my feed because I try to keep a fair balance.

And when I post articles, I always provide analysis of the situation.  I have never glorified infidelity in any article.  I always criticize the behavior and use it as an example of why we should support monogamy.

And if you want to filter the articles, you can go directly to my tag cloud:  L (liability), O (openness), V (visibility), and E (equality).

I put a lot of work into this site and it is already frustrating that I am fighting an uphill battle (apparently men that support monogamy is not newsworthy).  The last thing I need is someone attacking my efforts.