If you’ve been watching TV or been to the movies lately, you’ve seen the trailer for the movie “It’s Complicated.”  The movie is about a man who cheats on his wife with a younger, more attractive woman –> Marries the young woman –> Then has an affair with his new wife with his old wife.

The movie has received 3 Golden Globe Nominations and comes out tomorrow.  My question is what kind of message does this send?  It’s okay to have an affair?  It’s okay to have an affair if it is with your ex.  There are PLENTY of movies where someone has an affair with a former lover (i.e. Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Notebook, etc.), but this movie is different because it is the premise of the entire movie.

It’s hard to reconcile the award nominations with our outrage with the Tiger Wood scenario.  People were upset when the news about Mistress #1 (Rachel Uchitel) broke.  Things only got worse when we heard about numbers 2,3,4…13. Alec Baldwin cheats two times in this one movie.  And based on the previews, we’re supposed to kinda like this guy.  I just don’t get people. SMH.

You all know that Carl’s Jr. has a history of racy commercials.  Well they’ve employed Kim K to continue in their legacy.  They won’t let me embed the video, so here’s the link to the commercial.  We’ve really got to put an end to this exploitation of women.  Is this advertising?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYWQ5sX0-5Q

AshleyMadison has a new ad which starts with a jingle about the joys of infidelity and then goes into the following monologue

So if you’re trapped in a sexless marriage or just want to mix up your play list, join AshleyMadison.com. It’s 100% secure; completely anonymous. And way better than an intern.  AndI should know, as I have one blowing my fluggle horn right now. She’s not very good and will probably extort me.  Then my wife will divorce me.  And I’ll wish I’d had joined AshleyMadison.com

WHJY in Providence, R.I. felt as though the ad was too much and pulled it.  I’ve downloaded the jingle, but still new to this blogging thing.  As soon as I realize how to get the audio working, I will update the post.  For now you can check out the jingle here.

What did our buddy Noel had to say about it? He said that he was shocked and that pulling their ad was “un-American.”  He claimed that his business was legal and there are advertisements for alcohol.  He’s right, there’s nothing more American than having an affair. That guy is sick for real.

*On an unrelated note, I wonder if Noel has ever the story of how Jesus turned water into wine.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you can’t drink; it’s just that you shouldn’t be drunk (because that’s a form of gluttony and it leads to debauchery).  Adultery, on the other hand, is strict liability.  The Ten Commandments (amongst other places) clearly state that you are not to do it.

You all knew it was coming.  Rapper Maino releases the first (and probably not the last) rap song condoming Tiger Wood’s affairs entitled “Get Em Tiger.”  I would post the link, but that would further contribute to his tomfoolery.

Update: Here’s a link to the song and the interview between Maino and radio host Angela Yee.  Check out the interview; he has no shame.

At least one person seems to think so. Interesting read…

http://www.opednews.com/populum/diarypage.php?did=15350

Hulu now allows you to do a closed caption search for words in closed captioned videos. AND it jumps you right to the clip.  This means that it’ll be easier for me to find relevant clips on adultery, infidelity, faithfulness, monogamy, etc.  Here’s a pretty cool clip that I found from Friday Night Lights.  Focus on the opening scene (circa 1 minute).

Every decision we make is based upon a cost-benefit analysis.  There is a baseline presumption that humans are rational and rational individuals don’t act where the costs are greater than the benefits (costs>benefits).

For instance, you wouldn’t drive 50 miles just to save 5 cents per gallon on gas because you would have to calculate lost time, wear and tear on your car, lost gas from driving 50 miles, etc.

There aren’t many benefits involved with infidelity.  Yes there is the novelty and thrill-seeking value, but that’s about it.  The costs, however, are prohibitively high.  Divorce costs, damaged relationships with your wife and children, damaged reputation, cost in finding a suitable replacement for your significant other (because you may not want to marry the mistress), etc.

Therefore, in order for a man to cheat on his significant other the costs must be EXTREMELY LOW or the benefits must be EXTREMELY HIGH.  The costs are only going to be extremely low where a man thinks that there is no way that he is going to get caught.  Our “favorite” website, AshleyMadison.com, helps to drive down this fear/change.  So whenever Noel sits there and says that his website doesn’t encourage people to cheat, you know he’s BSing.  We all know that people would be less likely to cheat if the person knew that they wouldn’t get caught.

The second piece to the puzzle means that the benefits of cheating are extremely high.  This means that you are not happy in your relationship and being with someone else would make you that much happier.  From 1973-76, 69.6% of men said that they were very happy in their relationships.  However, during 2004-06, this figure dropped to 62.9%.  For every period studied from 1973-2006, women were less likely than men to be very happy in their marriage (National Marriage Project, http://www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/pdfs/2008update.pdf). Nevertheless, women do not cheat at nearly the same rate as men.  So what does this mean?  1) Women are better cheaters 2) Women have emotional affairs 3) There’s more of a stigma attached when women cheat 4) Women exhibit more self-restraint and/or 5) Women realize that the costs of cheating are too high.

Men can’t do anything about #1 or #2, but we can do something about the rest.  Men should be ashamed when they cheat.  It should not be something we feel comfortable telling our friends, much less bragging about.  Men must realize that we can’t do everything we want in relationships and that our private decisions have very public consequences.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that men don’t give birth to children that makes them willing to throw family away for a cheap thrill.  This change is only going to come about by us holding each other accountable and holding men to a new, higher standard.

Finally, in order to decrease the benefit of cheating, we must marry the right women.  I truly believe that if you marry the RIGHT woman, you won’t need to look at porn (hardcore or softcore).  You won’t constantly think to yourself, “dang, why doesn’t my wife look like that.”  Every guy has that one woman that he liked in school that didn’t given him the time of day.  You know that feeling that you got every time she came around.  That’s the kind of woman you need to marry (except your wife will actually give you the time of day).

I’ve never thought cheating was cool, but the primary reason I don’t cheat now is because I know I’d be a fool to do so.  There are plenty of guys waiting for me to mess up and I’m not going to do them that favor.  The standard is not finding someone that is more attractive, smarter, and/or more accomplished than your significant other.  In order for cheating to be deemed rational, you would have to have someone that would COMPLETELY TIP THE SCALES IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.  That ain’t happening.  Ergo, I’m not going cheating.

In Tiger’s case, there’s no reason why he should have cheated on his wife.  This is going to cost him millions of dollars.  His wife is a former Swedish supermodel turned nanny (so she’s great with the kids).  I don’t know much about Elin’s past, but I know she’s not a prostitute.  And I don’t know much about her ability in bed, but I doubt that she’s that bad so that he has to go out and sleep with porn stars and cocktail waitresses.  One would expect that a porn stars good in bed, but remember that no man knows how good someone is in bed based upon their looks.  So you can’t even say beforehand that the benefit is worth it. Simply put, if costs>benefits, you’re an idiot.  Plain and simple.

I know this food for thought is deep, so chew on it before you digest.  Be sure to save room for Part 2.

Beyonce’s parents are getting a divorce.  They claim that they are divorcing on amicable terms (after 29 years?). I’m sure it has nothing to do with Mathew Knowles being named in a paternity suit a month ago.

If you know me, you know that Lupe Fiasco is one of my favorite rappers.  Why? Because 1) He’s a great lyricist and 2) because he is socially conscious and actually has a message.  On his newest mixtape Enemy of the State: A Love Story, he states:

I know attention’s all about how you pair things/so when I want them to hear me out/I just sit it next to some pictures of Rosa [Acosta] splitting with her titties out/and what’s written on her titties is what it’s really [a]bout/then her vagina is some poor kids from China/nipples nuclear missiles/ass is a daughter without a dad/back is like Afghanistan, Iraq/healthcare hair/driveby thighs/education lips/HIV eyes/environment feet/justice get her so wet/brains gets you brains/you can f*ck her if you protest

I love this quote because it comments on her pervasive sex is in our culture.  We all know that sex sells, but it’s really gotten out of hand. PETA even puts butt naked women on its ads to encourage people to become vegans. I guess that’s the only way you can reach people nowadays.

Yeah, you read the headline correctly.  While NH just overturned their criminal penalty for adultery, Dubai has yet to do the same.  Marnie Pearce, a British woman living in Dubai, was imprisoned for 3 months for alleging committing adultery.  It turns out that she was framed by her former husband.  She tried to retrieve her kids after she got out, but her ex-husband split to the United States with the kids so he could be with his girlfriend.  So now she can’t be with them for Christmas (and she even bought some nice gifts too). Crazy.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/12/20/so-cruel-115875-21910291/